Business Opportunity
by DragonyPhoenix
Summary: Restfield and Kikimay came up with an idea about using vampires to dispose of waste. I ran with it.


The few working lights barely made a dent in the darkness, which was why backing the Carmaro in was not such a bright idea, not that you could tell Phil that. Willy's cousin had plenty of ideas but not so much in the way of smarts. As Willy stepped onto the cement floor, he couldn't even see the far end of the factory. "You want I should replace some of those bulbs, brighten the place up?"

Tony Franzone, coming around from the front passenger seat, took a drag off his cigarette and knocked the ashes to the floor. "Your cousin's not so smart."

"Hey," Willy called out. See, this was the kind of thing that made Franzone so unlikable. It wasn't that his broad shoulder look went over well with the ladies. That just showed that chicks had no sense. Franzone was about as loyal as a croc looking for its next meal. Unfortunately most people didn't have enough brains to see that, even more unfortunately that included Willy's cousin.

As Phil started flipping a coin through his fingers, Willy stood perfectly still but braced himself. Ever since they'd been teens, that coin flipping thing had been a sign that Phil was about to start spouting BS. "Operating expenses were more than I'd expected. I'd thought we could pick up the, uh, disposal units ourselves but they put up more of a fight, that is they were hard to come buy. In the end I had to purchase 'em which meant I didn't have any moola left for other expenses, such as storage space. These abandoned facilities, well, check out that dust. Nobody's been here in ages. I don't have to pay anyone for using it. That money's just cream off the top, but if someone were to see unexpected lights coming from in here …"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Phil was too cheap to pay for the building. Willy should have expected it. "So, what is it we're disposing of?"It couldn't be bodies. Phil was stupid but he wasn't that stupid. Franzone grinned. Oh God, please don't let it be bodies. Lopez, a twitchy little guy, new to Willy, crossed himself. Oh shit, it was bodies.

"Don't worry about that," Phil said. "The disposal units, they'll make it like this stuff never existed."

Willy didn't want to know but, well, Phil was family so he sort of had to, and besides, he needed the money. "Disposal units?"

Franzone grinned as he flipped on lights at the back of the factory. These lights, like the ones at the front, were low to the ground. Presumably they couldn't be seen from outside the building, but Willy had his doubts, especially since the garage door was wide open. Then he saw what was at the back of the factory, and he stopped worrying about the lights.

"People? You frigging caged people?" The cages were small, each big enough for one person. A couple of them were empty but the rest were full. With people. About eight, maybe nine, people total. They were mostly youngish, some guys and some chicks, a few wore suits and others seemed to be dressed for a night out. Most of them were unconscious, laying at the bottom of their cages. One was awake. He wasn't crying or begging for help or anything. He just stared as if he could see right through all of them. "I, I don't want to have anything to do with this."

"Relax." Some day someone was going to nail Franzone right in the popper. "They're not people." There was a small fridge off to the side of the cages. Franzone pulled out a bag, sort of medicalish looking. Wait, was that blood?

Franzone threw the bag into one of the cages, the one with a guy still awake in it, only suddenly it wasn't a guy. His face got ugly, real ugly, and fangs tore into the bag. "Holy fuck! What the hell is that?" Willy found himself on the other side of some big machine with no real good idea how he'd gotten there. He was peering around, watching the … whatever it was. Its face was still ugly and it seemed to be drinking whatever was in that bag.

Lopez crossed himself again and muttered something about el diablo as Phil tossed something over to Willy. It fell to the floor with a loud clang. Usually Willy was good at catching stuff but that diablo thing, it had put him off his game. When Willy looked down, he saw a cross.

Phil's gesture toward the cage was a showman's flourish. "Willy, meet vampire. Vamp, Willy."

Vampires? Willy looked at the creature but it wasn't so ugly any more. He was sleeping at the bottom of his cage, and the ugly features had vanished, leaving him looking fully human. Okay, Phil was having a little joke at his expense. Willy could play along. "Oh, yeah, of course. Shouldn't we have garlic too?"

"If you really want to be safe, you should carry an ankh." Franzone pulled something out of his pocket. It looked like a cross but the top bar had been replaced by a loop. "Now this has power against the undead. It's older, ancient even. Those Egyptian pharaohs knew their magic. It's a symbol of life, see, and it keeps the undead at bay."

"Bullshit, don't listen to him. If that were true you could use any sun symbol, hell, even a frigging swastika or a kid's drawing of a sun."

"Could we get on with this?" Lopez interrupted.

"Sure." Franzone pulled a CD out of his jacket.

"What's that?"

"Something that'll never see the light of day," Phil replied. Oh, right, disposal units. Not sure what they were up to, Willy decided to let the game play out.

"Bring us a vampire." Phil tossed over a key. This time Willy caught it.

"Oh, hey, wait a minute. I'm not so sure …" Willy figured if he'd believed them he'd want to avoid these "vampires". And anyway, something about them did sort of creep him out.

"Lopez, help him out."

Lopez didn't look too happy to be singled out but he shrugged in a what can you do kind of a way and took the key. "Come on."

The cage door screeched, metal screaming against metal, as Lopez pulled it open. They guy was good. He didn't move at all. "What's wrong with him?"

"Those bags?" Lopez said. "The ones we fed them? They were drugged."

They guy didn't move as he and Lopez, each hoisting up one shoulder, dragged him out of the cage. Either he was one hell of an actor or he really was drugged. Phil had promised him big bucks but Willy was starting to wish he was still schlepping bags at Albertson's. It was okay though. The guy'd "wake up" any moment now and they'd all have a good laugh. Only the guy didn't.

Phil held his hand out to Franzone, asking for the CD. "And now you'll see how it works."

"If you don't mind," Franzone replied, "I told Mr. Kane I'd handle it myself."

Phil looked sour, as if Franzone had stolen his thunder, but he gestured towards the supposedly drugged guy. Franzone put the CD in the guy's jacket and then asked for a stake. Phil handed it over. "You've got to hit them straight in the heart."

Wait, hit him in the heart? Okay, this was it. The guy was about to jump up and they'd all laugh. Franzone lined the stake up with the guy's heart and drew it back. Any minute now they'd all be laughing. Willy winced his eyes closed as the stake slammed forward. When he opened them again, the guy was gone. "Where'd he go?"

Tony and Phil laughed. "Vampires turn to dust when you off 'em."

"Where'd he really go?" Willy scanned the factory. There were old machines the guy could have run behind but he must have been fast. Willy's eyes had been shut for what? A moment?

"Keep your eyes open next time, buddy," Franzone said.

"Next up," Phil said. "We'll need two vampires for this. You two get the vamps, Franzone and I will grab the goods."

Willy thought the joke was dragging on a bit far but figured he'd keep his eyes open this time and catch them at it.

Phil stuck his keys in the trunk. "Well, get going," he called out to Willy and Lopez. As they dragged another guy over, and really this was definitely taking a joke too far, Phil and Franzone pulled something wrapped in a blue tarp out of the trunk. The tarp sagged in the middle and proved to be about the same size as the vampire when laid out side-by-side. "Come on, we need another vampire. Right here on the other side of the tarp."

Once the two "vampires" were in place around the tarp, Phil and Franzone each took a side, pulled out stakes, and aimed them straight for the hearts. Willy watched carefully but he couldn't see how the trick was being played. And anyway, it wasn't much of a trick because the two guys vanished, but the tarp was still there.

Phil reached over and poked at the tarp. "Damn. Let's try it with three vampires this time."

"Okay, the joke's over. Ha ha, but the chump didn't buy it. I'm here to make some money, not to play whatever game you've got going here."

"Hey." Franzone got in his face. "This is no game."

"Lopez, Franzone, go grab the vamps. I'll talk to him."

Phil pulled him over to the car. "What're you doing? You're pissing off Franzone."

"Yeah, well maybe I'm a little pissed off too. This joke's so old it's stale."

"How many time do I gotta tell you? It's no joke. Now you make nice with Franzone. He's bringing in money, good money. You want out? Fine, there's the door." He gestured at the open garage door as if Willy was gonna walk home from this not so nice neighborhood. "But if you stay, you gotta pull your weight."

Before Willy could reply, there was a scream from the far end of the room. The cage was open but this guy wasn't pretending to be asleep. He was holding Lopez up off the floor. Willy could see Lopez' feet scrambling for support. And, yeah, Lopez was a small guy, but still, this other guy didn't look that strong to be hauling Lopez up off the floor. He pulled his face from Lopez' neck and, oh God, it was that ugly face again. How could Willy have thought this guy was human with a face like that? The … vampire … Okay, he'd thought it. Vampire. The guy really was a vampire.

As the vampire turned, Franzone held up that ankh thing he'd been displaying earlier. It didn't hold the vampire back. Instead the monster, laughing, crushed it in one hand. Willy dropped down at the side of the car. It was stupid. Making himself smaller wouldn't make him any less visible, but this was as far as he could move. He could hear Franzone screaming. Phil slammed the car's trunk shut and pulled at the keys. They didn't budge. "Come on. Come on."

"You." Oh God, no, no, no. Not me.

As Phil squirmed under the vampire's stare, Willy could only thank God it wasn't after him. The monster sounded human, but Willy felt as if something dark had looked on him, gauged him as insignificant, and, for the moment, moved on.

Phil had stopped pulling at the keys. "No. No." He ran. The vampire … leaped? For all Willy knew it was flying. Phil didn't make it far.

Willy couldn't take his eyes off the monster as it fed on his cousin, but he could move, at least enough to pull the keys out of the trunk. He inched forward to the driver's seat. It felt as if he was barely moving at a crawl but he was also there in an instant. He fell into the seat. Oh God, and this was where he was gonna have to takes his eyes off of the vampire. He fumbled for the ignition, got the car started, and looked over to see the vampire dumping his cousin's body to the floor like so much trash. Willy slammed on the accelerator, grateful that he didn't have to drive through the garage door. He'd have done it. He had no doubt about that, but he was able to get out and down the highway without running into anything.

He didn't stop driving for two hours. By then the sun was coming up. Sun stopped vampires, right? Willy didn't know for sure, but he figured he didn't need to. He'd left LA far behind. This small burgh, Sunny … something, it had to be safe, right?

He found a diner and pulled over but didn't get out. God, he was going to have to tell Aunt Milly … something. Not about vampires but … Willy's hands started shaking. He held on tight to the steering wheel but that didn't stop the jittery feeling. He'd almost died. If he'd gone to that final cage with Lopez, he'd be dead on the factory floor. That shit Phil had almost gotten him killed. Guilt sat heavy as a stone in the pit of Willy's stomach. Phil was dead. Willy had just fled but there'd been nothing he could have done. Shit but he needed a drink and not that unending cup of coffee he'd get at the diner either but a real drink. Phil sometimes kept a flask in the glove box.

There was no flask but there was an envelope, large and manila. His shaking hands took three tries to open it up. The envelope was full of bills, lots of bills. It had to be twenty, maybe thirty, thousand. That was enough cash … He could start up his own business, maybe a little yogurt shop or a bar. Yeah, a bar. He knew them better than yogurt shops any day. And once he was in business for himself, well, at least there'd be no unexpected surprises.


End file.
